And at the end there’s happiness… (translated from German)
Actually, I’d always wanted to have kids, but there were so many other things I’d wanted as well – many years of studies, training as a medical specialist, additional qualifications, my doctorate, stays in foreign countries and then, when I’d finally achieved all my goals and wanted kids, there was no suitable partner.
After I thought I had found him at long last it simply didn’t work out: I didn’t conceive, the sperm cells were of poor quality, my eggs weren’t too good either, now that I was in my late thirties. What followed was the usual story: stimulation treatments, inseminations and at some point resignation. I thought I’d have to accept my infertility since you just can’t get everything you want from life and life had already been so very generous to me. But deep down inside I wasn’t happy with this decision. At night, I often dreamed of expecting a baby, I even dreamed of the delivery and in those dreams I always was very, very happy. Our not having children put a greater strain on our marriage than we actually realized and at some point it broke up. I was completely devastated when that happened, and yet, I still wanted to have children. In the meantime, I was 45 years old – but I never gave up hope.
I met a new man a year later and when I told him that I wanted to have a baby he was surprised in view of my age. But he let himself in for it nevertheless.
I did my research, looking for options available to women in their mid-forties to have children of their own and I discovered egg donations and Dr. Zaytseff. My very first contact was extremely positive and so the initial consultation was scheduled just four weeks later.
But my stamina and resolve were really going to be put to the test even after that talk. Three treatment cycles failed. When the β-HCG was negative yet again after the third attempt, I asked myself whether I wasn’t trying to force something that simply was not supposed to be. I decided to try once more and if this fourth attempt didn’t work out either, I would stop. After the first week, I already had the feeling that things were different this time and in fact, it was true: the β-HCG test was positive. I was extremely tense when the first ultrasound scan was done after the embryo transfer. When my gynecologist was inserting the ultrasound transducer, I could already see the two amniotic cavities. It’s impossible to describe that feeling – it’s simply beyond words and the moment I knew about them I loved them. As the weeks went by, I felt more and more optimistic that I would be holding my babies in my arms someday. That was the best decision I ever made and I am so grateful and happy that these two children have become part of my life.
Dr. Zaytseff took very good care of me during all those treatment cycles; she was conscientious and delivered expert medical care. But what is more, she took good care of me personally, addressing my fears. She supported me and boosted my confidence that things would work out at some point.
My very special thanks to Dr. Zaytseff — her commitment was marvelous!