A baby via egg donation?
Many of my patients have spent years trying to get pregnant via IVF and other treatments, but have only met with failure upon failure. Egg donation is a technique that enables previously infertile women to experience pregnancy and motherhood in very much the same way as any other woman. Instead of adopting a child with its existing character and personality, they have the opportunity to establish a natural mother-child bond during pregnancy, delivery, breastfeeding and daily communication. They have a chance to build up a family in the same way as any other family, and no one can oblige them to tell their child or anyone else about the details of this conception.
Planning a child and being pregnant are times when any woman has concerns, expectations and hopes. Some of them are all the same for any mother-to-be, and some of them are more specific for women who are pregnant after egg donation.
Will the baby look like you and/or your partner? (You may worry about what remarks people will make about the child’s appearance). If you have particular talents (for music or science, for example), you may be upset that these will not genetically be passed on to your child. Perhaps you may feel guilty about “stealing” an egg from another woman. Will I be able to breastfeed? Will the whole experience be as wonderful as it would have been if I had been able to conceive the baby without egg donation? We discuss all these typical egg donation questions in the next chapter.
The decision to try egg donation may take many years. Do not hesitate to ask your husband or partner the questions you cannot answer yourself. Do seek out a specialist to help answer your questions if neither of you has a clue. There are also thousands of people who are at the same stage of the decision- making process as you or a couple of steps further, who are very open about their experience and are happy to support you.
I have many years of experience in talking about egg donation concerns to my clients and helping them through the difficult decision-making process. I will answer your questions and worries with respect and support and will help you to evaluate the pros and cons objectively.
The decision of whether to try for a child via egg donation is up to you. But I find that once my patients succeed in getting pregnant, the rush of love they feel for their future child tends to supersede all other concerns.
Egg donation is anonymous in Russia, and many of our patients prefer to keep the matter entirely private.
Because we help you to choose your egg donor or carry out egg donor-recipient matching procedure with skill and care, your child will resemble you and/or your family very closely. This means that you will not be forced to tell your child about the circumstances of his or her conception because of having a different appearance, but will instead have the option of telling or not telling. You will be the one who knows your child the best, and you will no doubt feel yourself the best person to decide whether to inform him or her as and when it feels right to do so.